


eid

by orphan_account



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Character tags will be updated as updated, F/M, filling in the blanks as usual, futureish fic, im trying really hard to move on lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-18 20:13:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11298012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: eid in 5 parts





	1. the first promise

**Author's Note:**

> WHAT IS THIS??? who knows.  
> This is the result of being unable to sleep combined with the realization that I'll never see these two onscreen together again. To be honest, my expectations for the finale were pretty low and for the most part I really enjoyed it. In order for me to move on though, I'm writing this as a final kind of goodbye to one of my favourite couples on the show. I can't express how grateful I am to Julie for creating these characters and making me love them, but if I'm being truthful there is something preventing me from being wholeheartedly invested in them. That being said, I hope by the end of this, it'll be easier to let them and the show as a whole go.  
> I'm currently in the process of writing this but I want to finish within the week, so yeah this should be over pretty soon.

Eid **2015** (ages 15  & 17)

"Eid Mubarak, Mama." Sana said as she stood up following the recitation indicating the end of the prayer. She kissed her twice, once on both cheeks before her mother embraced her lovingly. Sana leaned into the hug, closing her eyes, stifling the yawn threatening to escape from her throat, and allowed the fatigue to take over momentarily.

The Bakkoush family had been attending the earliest Eid prayers offered at their local mosque for as long as Sana could recall. After her body had been conditioned throughout Ramadan to wake up absurdly early and function on smaller amounts of sleep than normal, it seemed rather unfair that she could barely keep her eyes open as she halfheartedly listened to the Imam's sermon.

Still, Sana trudged through. Listened as intently as she could when he spoke fondly of the weeks that had passed, how they served not only as a reminder of her faith, but also what she was capable of doing regardless of what time of the year it might be. She bowed her head and stood as needed, even when all she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and sleep away the tiredness that made her a beat too slow in lowering herself and rising once again. The practiced motions of prayer that had become akin to reflexes kicked in, her guilt at not being quite as involved as she should have been subdued simply because her brain could not process the aforementioned thoughts in its current state.

"Sana!" A voice chimed behind her, paired with a light tap on her shoulder. Sana reluctantly released herself from the comfort of her mother's arms, turning around to face a beaming Jamila whose own mother stood beside her. Despite her situation, Sana couldn't help but brighten up at the sight of her friend. She first greeted Jamila's mom, giving her the customary hug and pecking her cheeks twice, before heading over to her best friend and exchanging squeals over each others outfits. Jamila, who had the uncanny ability to read Sana, or anyone for that matter really, like an open book, immediately took notice of the dark circles etched under her eyes and a face that remained untouched by the make up she would usually painstakingly apply to match the intricate embroidery adorning her clothes.

"Is everything alright?" Jamila asked concernedly. Sana smiled, or at least attempted to smile, in what she hoped was a convincing manner.

"I'm fine," she replied, "Just a little tired. I'll sleep it off once I get home." Jamila appraised her, unconvinced but relenting after repeated assurances on Sana's behalf. They were interrupted soon after by their mothers, who beckoned them towards the door leading outside into the foyer where Sana's father and Elias awaited them. The group exited the prayer hall together, separating after invitations for that evening were accepted and given, Sana and Jamila hugging one last time before they headed out.

Sana retrieved her shoes off the rack, thanking whatever unconscious mechanism had triggered in the back of her mind when she had removed them in the morning, keeping them in a spot where they were easily found. After placing them on her feet, she headed towards her mother who had spotted her brother and Dad engaged in conversation with Yousef and his father.

The trio parted in order to include the pair in their makeshift circle, Sana and Elias greeting the parent they hadn't already before sharing a quick hug of their own. Sana looked over fondly at her parents, who had long separated from their embrace but still held onto each others hands, bodies ever so slightly inclined towards one another. As the adults conversed with one another, Sana made eye contact with Yousef who grinned at her unabashedly.

Yousef and her shared an odd relationship. While they probably wouldn't have met without Elias, it felt strange to refer to him simply as her brother's best friend, a title better suited for Mutta who never gave up an opportunity to tease her, or Adam and Mikael who essentially ignored her save for an awkward 'hello' when they came over to her house. Throughout his and Elias's friendship, and subsequently whatever relationship they harboured as a result, Yousef never treated her like his friend's annoying little sister. He would greet her just as enthusiastically as he greeted Elias when he came over, ask about her day and respond in kind with words of comfort or advice. They weren't friends, not really in the traditional sense anyway, but to reduce their interactions to simply those born out of forced politeness seemed almost disrespectful.

"Hey Sana," he said warmly, "Eid Mubarak." she mustered a smile.

"Eid Mubarak to you too Yousef."

They stood at a standstill, unsure of how to proceed. Yousef rubbed at the back of his neck, while Sana resisted the urge to yawn for the hundredth time that morning.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, "You don't look too good."

"Gee thanks." she replied. She tried her best to inject enough humour in her tone so that he didn't take her seriously, apparently failing when he blushed in response.

"Uh- that's- I mean- I didn't," Yousef stammered out.

'I'm kidding, Yousef. I know I look like a mess." he opened his mouth to reply before being cut off by Elias.

"Yeah Sana, I get that it's early but you could have at least attempted to look somewhat presentable." he jabbed. Sana glared at him, fully aware of her parents presence preventing her from responding how she really wanted to. Settling for a hushed "Shut up Elias!", she caught her mother motioning towards the front door and stormed towards her, not so subtly shoving past her brother and mumbling a rushed goodbye to Yousef on her way out.

As Yousef watched Sana walk away, he reprimanded himself for not reassuring her while he had the chance. For not complimenting her the first chance he got, for letting his worry over her tired eyes and exhausted gait express itself in a way that anyone would assume unflattering, for letting her believe for even one second that she wasn't radiant when she was the definition of the word itself.

His first promise is to never let her feel like that again. To stop fearing her reaction lest it be one of confusion, or worse, awkwardness stemming from the source of reassurances being her older brother's best friend. Because to him, the likelihood of the former paled in comparison to her knowing that she was beautiful. It propelled him to escape from the security provided by his quietness and risk the guaranteed comfort of their current relationship for the slim probability at the shot of something more.

* * *

 

_"I choose to love you in silence, for in silence I find no rejection."_


	2. the second promise

Eid **2010** (ages 12  & 14)

  
"Sana, come downstairs! The guests are here!"  
Her father's voice, muffled partially by her closed door and dishes clattering in the kitchen, sounded through the noise and interrupted her train of thoughts. Sana glanced at the clock situated above her vanity mirror, shocked that nearly an hour had passed since she started getting ready.

It was her first Eid wearing a hijab. In the past, her mom would weave her hair into complicated plaits, braids Sana would unconsciously trace with her fingertips throughout the day, her soft curls free from the confines of the ponytail that typically constricted them.

Now, what would have been a meticulously woven hairstyle, was covered by a silk shawl, carefully selected by Sana from the assortment at the mall to coordinate with her outfit. She recalled sorting amongst the haphazard pile of colourful scarves discarded messily by previous shoppers for the majority of her last minute shopping trip, discovering it beneath several grey and black hued fabrics. It's gold material contrasted with the monotonous scarves surrounding it, the shade matching perfectly with the accents lining the collar of her turquoise dress.

With the hijab in her hands and underscarf already on her head, she arranged the scarf on top, wrapping it like her mother showed her beforehand so it laid flat, but was still loose enough to prevent any discomfort, securing it with pins on loan from Jamila that wouldn't tangle the fabric like her safety pins often did. After settling for satisfaction over perfection, she gave herself a final scrutinizing once over, smoothing out the invisible wrinkles in her crease free clothing and headed downstairs.

Sana felt the dread wash over with every step she took leading to the living room. Did she look okay? Was her scarf slipping? Did she remember to cut the price tag o-

"There she is!" her father exclaimed, startling her out of the tirade of internal concerns on loop in her brain. He stood with her mother and several of parents belonging to Elias's friends. She recognized Mutasim's mother and Adam's father engaged in heated conversation with her mom, opting to greet the latter's mother first, a fellow surgeon at the hospital Sana's dad worked at, leisurely chatting in the corner where her father called out from. The flurry of exchanges was disrupted by the buzz of the doorbell, one that Sana rushed to answer in hopes that Jamila or another on of her friends had finally shown up.

She tried her best to mask her disappointment upon realizing Yousef and his parents were the ones behind the door instead, offering her best smile, which, to be completely honest, she didn't have to fake much anyway. Yousef's mom was after all Sana's favourite adult out of her parents numerous acquaintances. She opened the door all the way, greeting them as they removed their shoes and made their way in. The female paused to give Sana a warm hug, stepping back to admire her appearance.

"Sana, you look so beautiful!" Yousef's mom leaned down, supplementing the praise with an additional kiss to Sana's cheek. "Mashallah, you make that scarf look better than it already does." Sana beamed, soaking in the compliment she had grown accustomed to hearing suddenly more believable coming from someone who wasn't her mother, and as such not just expected to say it.

"Thank you." Sana replied shyly, ushering them into the living room where the other guests were. After Eid greetings were made, Sana's mom told her to fetch Elias and start setting the dining table, only for Yousef's mother to interject and delegate the role to her son instead.

Sana looked at Yousef for the first time that night, sheepishly realizing that she had basically ignored him since he walked through the door, too wrapped up in her own insecurities to properly greet him. She offered a smile and a belated "Eid Mubarak", causing him to laugh softly and reciprocate her greeting.

"Sorry you got stuck doing this." she said apologetically. Yousef smiled back at her, already walking towards the kitchen.

"It's alright, I don't mind." he reassured her. Sana looked in den where Elias and the rest of his friends were, shouting over each other as they played video games, secluded from the rest of the party.

"I can still get Elias if you want he's just ov-"

"No!" Yousef cut her off, looking surprised at himself for reacting so forcefully, "Uh, I mean, no it's not a problem at all." Sana assessed Yousef unsurely, causing him to recompose himself, assuming the same carefree smile he wore previously.

"Seriously, I'll help you." he repeated, the finality of his tone leaving no room for arguement.

"Okay." 

They began setting the table, Sana directing him to the spots where the fancier dishes and silverware were kept. He took advantage of his height, reaching towards the top shelf of the pantry and easily picking them up without the assistance of raised toes or the stool Sana would have needed otherwise. When did he get so tall?

"Probably around the same time you stopped scoring any points while I was defending." Sana blushed at his jab, glaring at him, desperate to recover from getting caught wondering out loud.

"Haha." she deadpanned snatching the plates from his grasp, "You wish!" Sana rushed to set them on the table, willing the blush, whose warmth could still be felt on her cheeks, away. Once she ran out of dishes, she turned around, intending to go back to where Yousef stood and retrieve more, only to bump head first into his neck, the top of her head colliding with his chin in a manner that she was certain more painful for him than her.

"I'm so sorry!" she cried out as she stepped back. Yousef rubbed at his jaw, waving away her concern.

"Don't worry about it," he laughed awkwardly, "Karma, I guess." Yousef paused, eyes settling on a spot near the bridge of Sana's nose. She reached out to touch it.

"What?" she asked uncomfortably when his gaze wouldn't drift.

"You," he started, gesturing at his forehead, "There's a little hair showing, over there."

"Oh!"

"No, um," Yousef pointed at the same spot, hesitating briefly, ultimately reaching his hand out, quickly intercepting the escaped lock of hair and tucking it back inside her scarf. "Here."

Yousef's hand lingered, Sana reeling from the proximity, not really sure what to say. His fingers barely grazing the surface of her skin refused to budge, not quite touching, but enough so that their presence was undeniable. Her focus shifted from his hand to his eyes, met with a stare mirroring her confused one, but simultaneously hinting at something more. Something that she couldn't quite comprehend.

"Is everything okay here?" Yousef flinched, immediately removing his hand from their position near Sana's face, turning almost guiltily towards the sound of his mother's voice, and the moment was over before Sana had the chance to overanalyze it further.

Between his mother's suspicious looks and the boys' antics, Yousef didn't get another opportunity that night to speak to Sana alone. He was stunned when she greeted them at the door, the Sana who usually played basketball with them or was the target of their immature pranks almost unrecognizable in her fancy clothes and shy demeanour. He dedicated the next five minutes, as she greeted her parents and led them to the living room, towards getting her attention, jumping embarrassingly at the chance to help her set the table. His heart jumped after hearing her question his newfound height, delighting in the pink that painted her cheeks after he teased her for it. When the strand of hair had slipped out of her hijab, he eagerly reached out to fix it after her failed attempts, cringing over his obviousness.

It was, now that he thinks about it, probably when she stopped being Elias's sister and began being, simply, Sana. It was the evening she transitioned from his best friend's sister to an entity of her own, someone he yearned to know better for reasons he couldn't quite pinpoint himself.

When Yousef sat down in the family car as they headed home that evening, he didn't get much time to evaluate his mixed up feelings before his mother started.

"Sana looked very nice today?" she states, her intonation hinting at the expectation of a response to what was clearly something undebatable.

"Yeah... I guess." he supplied, mumbling. He diverted his attention towards his seatbelt, avoiding the knowing look his mother gave him before turning around to start the car.

Sometimes, Yousef wishes he had admitted the truth behind his Mother's implications, confided in her while he had the opportunity. It would have been nice, having someone to talk to, if only to stop the irritating raised eyebrows and muffled snorts as he clumsily sorted out the strange new feelings for the girl he grew up with.

The second promise he makes ensures that he'll never conceal what he feels. In some way, his teenaged mind felt that divulging those sentiments would somehow diminish their sincerity. As if speaking of them out loud would tarnish their worth, another person's awareness of their existence somehow intruding on the connection between him and the person they existed for. It didn't occur to him until long after, that the so called connection's intangibility was evident, contained inside his mind, presence registering to no one but himself. Liking someone who didn't like you back in the same way wasn't so much hard as it was lonely.

* * *

 

_"I choose to love you in loneliness, for in loneliness no one owns you but me."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah yeah I get it there's no 14 year old boy in the world that thoughtful. Suspend your beliefs for a bit, okay?  
> Also the second promise he made was before the first???? Yeah it was, don't worry I hope it'll make sense at the end.  
> P.S. The Bakkoushs hold hugeee annual Eid parties for their friends and family and no one can convince me otherwise.


	3. the third promise

Eid **2020** (age 20  & 23)

  
"And that's it for that chapter!" Isak closed the textbook triumphantly, looking up at Sana whose brow remained furrowed in concentration, eyes refusing to stray from the disorganized notes spread across the library table they occupied.

It was their second year in the Biosciences program at UiO. While they chose to branch out into different specialties, the duo was still required to take the same core courses together, leading them to sustain the study buddy system they had managed to preserve since taking Biology back at Nissen. With a midterm the next morning, Sana was forced to excuse herself from Eid festivities back at home and essentially camp out in Chris's room on campus in preparation. Isak, as much as she hated to admit it, had a natural grasp of the content being covered on the midterm, something that she had come to terms with but wouldn't dare to acknowledge verbally. Although he helped her understand the basic concepts, Sana was having trouble fleshing out the details that would help her attain the mark she needed.

"Sana?" he questioned. Sana, startled out of her reverie, scowled at Isak, softening at his concerned expression.

"Yeah?" she answered, tapping her pen impatiently against the table, resisting the urge to continue reading.

"It's getting late," Isak started, glancing at the time on his phone to emphasize his point, "Don't you think we should wrap up now?" Sana sighed, resuming to scan the excrept she previously highlighted before responding.

"I can't," she said, punctuating her declaration with a flurry of turned pages and hasty scribbles in the margins of her notebook, "I still have to revise this section and then look at the diagrams for the one we did earlier."

"Sanasol... it's Eid. Don't you want to go visit your family for a bit?" she looked up ashamedly at the mention of her parents, reminded of how she had rushed out that morning immediately after offering Eid prayer, "Even texted me, he's with the boys at your place right now and your parents really miss you." Isak pushed, realizing that his guilt trip was working.

"It's fine, they understand." 

"I still think," Isak continued, raising his hands in surrender after Sana silenced him with a glare, "Okay, okay. You win. But we're leaving in half an hour. You can study last minute tomorrow but you have to get enough sleep tonight." 

"Fine." she conceded.

"Good."

The half hour winded to a close too soon, much to Sana's reluctance. Isak walked her back to the housing complex where Chris resided, fully aware of her intentions to camp out in the library that night lest he left her alone, wishing her a "Happy Eid" and sincere good luck in reference to their exam the next day before leaving to catch the bus back to his apartment off campus. Sana trudged up the stairs leading to Chris's place, giving her legs the chance to stretch after spending the majority of the day tucked under the far from spacious library group study table. Reaching inside her bag to grab the keys Chris had lent to her for the remainder of her stay, she groaned in frustration upon realizing she had left them atop the dining table in her haste to arrive on time at the mosque that morning. Quickly, she felt for her phone instead, dialing her friend's number in hopes of finding an alternate way inside. The deafening blare of loud music filled her ears, causing her to cringe and distance the phone away from her ear before speaking.

"Chris, are you back yet?" obviously not, she thought internally, wondering why she even bothered to ask, "I think I forgot the spare key you gave me inside the house."

"Sana!" Chris yelled over the noise, " _Na girl_ , I'm still out."

"Oh." 

"Hey, don't worry about it!" her friend said reassuringly, "Just knock!"

"Uh, what do you mean, just knock?" Sana asked puzzled. A loud "LOOK OUT!" followed by the resounding crash of what seemed to be glass breaking interuppted Chris before she could respond.

"Sana, look I have to go." she exclaimed hurriedly, "Trust me, just knock, okay?" the line clicked, indicating the end of the call, leaving a bewildered Sana in its wake.

"Okay.." she decided to humour Chris, if only because she didn't really have another choice, raising her hand to knock hesitantly on the door. Letting out a breath when no one answered, she chuckled softly at the absurdity of the situation, turning around to see if the residence desk downstairs was still open, whirling back abruptly at the door as it swung open.

"Surprise."

The silhouette of the boy she had come to know all too well throughout the past few years grinned at her confused expression, clad in his signature jacket/hoodie combination, except he opted in favour of leaving the hood down and his hair out, falling effortlessly on his forehead before he could casually sweep it back. He held his arms out, rousing her out of her stunned state. She smiled, laughing as she lunged forward to embrace him in a hug. 

"Yousef?! What are you doing here?" Sana buried her head in Yousef's chest, the exhaustion from studying all day combining with the sheer delight at his surprise appearance accumulating in a fierce hold that refused to relent. He laughed softly at her rare display of enthusiasm, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as he mindlessly stroked her back, tracing soothing patterns along the line of her spine.

"Elias told me about your midterm, so I asked Even to text Isak who told him you weren't budging from the library." she leaned back, looking up at him, "When he finally got you out of there I couldn't resist. So I brought some food over for you."

"You..." Sana trailed off, momentarily distracted by poorly disguised pool of hunger forming in his eyes, "You didn't have to come all the way here." she finished quietly.

Silence permeated the air around them, the atmosphere suddenly heavy, rendering her breath uneven and pupils dilated, paralleling the brown, almost black irises of the boy who started back.

One sigh, a stroke of calloused fingers against her smooth cheek, the intermingling of individual inhales and exhales until they  took on a single rhythm, playing out a song conveying unpursued desires and-

And then the spell is broken.

She steps back, coughing to fill the now turned awkward silence. He looks down, shuffling back and forth on his feet.

"And leave you alone on Eid? Did you think I'd let that happen?" she stared at him cluelessly, realizing a beat too late that he was responding to her long forgotten statement from earlier on. Sana gave him a grateful half smile.

"I really should be studying." she admitted, even though it was the last thing on her mind.

"You really should be taking a break." he retorted, grabbing an overflowing bag off the dining table that Sana hadn't even noticed, "5 minutes won't change your results." Yousef stated matter-of-factly, proceeding to walk towards the living room where Sana amusedly followed. He turned around, lips curling upwards in the beginnings of a lighthearted smirk.

"Come on, for me?" he implored playfully. Sana crossed her arms unimpressed, the smile forming on her face countering her grim posture. Yousef laughed before continuing.

"Okay," he sighed defeatedly, "Do it for my mother? Who made me promise to make sure you eat this after I told her I was coming here." Sana grinned, playing along as she huffed dramatically, sitting beside Yousef on the couch where he had already started to lay out the food on the coffee table in fromt of them.

"Fine." she resigned, "But only for _anne_."

It takes every ounce of Yousef's self control to prevent him from doing something they'd both regret. When he showed up for the Bakkoushs' annual Eid celebration that day, he fully expected Sana to be there. He knew that she had a midterm the next day, but she had assured him of her presence and he had believed her, knowing that Eid was her favourite holiday of the year. It didn't take much convincing, or any at all really, when Mrs. Bakkoush suggested that one of the boys take the short trip to the university in order to deliver some of the party food to Sana. He all but dashed out of the house, pausing as his mom added her own addition to the bag full of food, reminding him to make sure she ate regardless of how busy she claimed to be. 

Running a nervous hand through his hair, he unconsciously leads them over to the couch, sitting in a way that leaves a reasonable amount of space between them. He wills his pulse to slow, heartbeat following suit, laughing shakily as he convinces her to eat under the guise of his mother's orders, delighting over Sana's reference to the aforementioned that didn't differentiate between his or hers.

The third promise is a silent agreement. A vow embodying stolen kisses during lazy Sunday family breakfasts, hand holding through mundane errands, side hugs as morning send offs accompanied by welcome back pecks in the evenings. Theirs was a relationship whose origins were deeply rooted in equal parts accident and fate, written in the stars as much as it was obstacle ridden, starting with their differing beliefs and ending with doubts borne out of their own uncertainties. But, where the details lacked, its foundation was strong. He settled for longing glances in place of heated kisses, strategic distances when all he wanted was to close the seemingly infinite amount of space between them, aligning the contours of her body with his own, fusing like the fragments of a jigsaw puzzle meant to be joined together as a part of something bigger than its individual pieces. Because, for him, it was enough.

Yousef knew, knew with more certainty than one could claim that the sky was blue or that the sun rose in the east, that Sana was it, and until he was the same for her, he would suppress the affection brimming in their every interaction, eager to physically manifest. Still, the promise remained, unspoken and ever present, awaiting their future together.

* * *

 

_"I choose to kiss you in the wind, for the wind is gentler than my lips."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who reads and comments. I actually have nothing I can say that would accurately express how grateful I am for your kind words. I don't really edit beyond a second reading of the completed text because for some reason the more I repeatedly read something the less inclined I am to post it. So if you do catch any mistakes or times where you find yourself going "wtf is she saying...." please feel free to point them out. 
> 
> The quotes I am using at the end of each chapter are smaller parts of a large quote that I have rearranged in order to be relevant to each individual chapter. Like I did for 'maybe' I'll include a small description at the end of this explaining the thought process behind my writing style and what I was going for as I wrote this.


	4. the fourth promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me preface this chapter by apologizing for basically abandoning this. If you follow me on tumblr, you know that long story short I lost the files where the last two parts of this story were saved and I had no motivation to type them up again from scratch until now. Anyway here goes nothing

Eid **2017** (ages 17  & 19)

2017.06.17 ( **sat** )

**Yousef Acar**

I’m just thinking about how you’re going to get together with Stephen Curry this summer  
Please don’t……

Hahaha  
OK I promise ❤️

❤️

* * *

 

2017.06.17 ( **sat** )

  
Hi, just checking to make sure you arrived safely  
19:03

Hi, just letting you know that I did  
19:05

Lol okay  
19:06

Get some sleep we can talk later  
19:10

No!  
19:10

  
I mean it’s fine  
I can still talk  
19:11 **  
**

You sure?  
19:13

  
Yousef?  
19:45

  
Hahaha  
Good night  
20:01

❤️  
20:18

2017.06.18 ( **sun** )

SANA  
I’m so sorry!  
09:24

  
SaNa I’m So SoRrY  
  
10:04

Haha it’s fine  
10:06

Wow nice use of memes  
10:07

  
Yo russe girl learned from the best  
10:08

  
...  
10:11

  
Can't believe you remember that  
10:12

  
It was cute  
10:15

  
I guess  
10:15

  
You loved it  
10:17

  
Maybe  
10:21

  
:p  
10:21

  
What are you doing today  
10:30

  
Shouldn't the person on vacation be answering that  
10:31

  
Going out with my cousins  
10:32

  
I'm thinking about having an Eid party  
10:32

  
Hahahah  
10:33

  
LOL  
10:33

  
So, Eid party?  
10:40

  
Yeah thought it was needed after all the drama  
10:42

  
That sounds nice  
Sad I won't be there  
10:43

  
Next year  
10:48

  
Little over confident aren't we?  
10:50

  
Shut up  
11:01

  
Love u too  
11:02

2017.06.19 ( **mon** )

So Vilde sent me this  
  
18:14

  
I swear I'm going to kill Mikael  
19:20

  
Hahahah  
19:27

  
Can't believe you changed outfits just for our date  
19:29

 

  
  
19:30

  
Can't believe you wore the same jacket you did during our first  
19:33

  
Ok sorry that was a little petty  
19:35

  
Our first?  
19:36

  
Yeah  
That day we carried Elias to Noora's and I kicked your ass at basketball after?  
19:39

  
Funny I have a totally different recollection of that day  
One where I distinctly remember your ass being the one getting kicked  
19:42

  
Wow  
Tough girl  
19:45

  
Besides that wasn't our first date  
I've decided we haven't gone on it yet  
19:49

  
???  
19:50

  
I'll take you to Red Lobster when you come back  
:)  
19:52

  
  
19:59

  
Lmao  
20:00

  
Speaking of Elias, he says he misses you  
20:10

  
Oh Elias misses me?  
20:11

  
Just Elias?  
20:14

  
No  
20:15

  
Mutta misses you too  
20:17

  
Okayyyyy  
20:21

  
  
"Yousef... you're following me and I can tell you're stalking me on social media. I've had enough of you."  
20:35

  
Bye  
20:36 

2017.06.20 ( **tues** )

  
Sana?  
00:04

  
Yeah?  
00:05

  
I miss you too  
00:06

2017.06.21 ( **wed** )

  
  
Hi from everyone at Isak's birthday party  
21:01

  
:'(:'(  
22:19

  
Hi to everyone from Cappadocia   
  
22:21

2017.06.22 ( **thurs** )

  
Wow  
It looks amazing there!  
03:08

  
It was  
I wish you could see it too  
03:09

  
Why are you awake right now??  
03:10

  
Can't sleep  
03:12

  
All I want to do right now is sleep  
Can barely keep my eyes open  
03:14

  
Keep talking to me  
I'll help you stay awake until Fajr  
03:15

2017.06.23 ( **fri** )

  
Last minute party prep  
   
15:53

Looks great  
But isn't it tomorrow?  
16:24

Basically last minute*  
Only thing left is making the food  
16:27

I really want to fly back the more you talk about it  
16:30

Bring your mom's secret carrot soup recipe with you hahah  
16:38

Hold on  
16:40

  
16:57

Sorry I'm not there to peel the carrots myself  
Hopefully my lessons will suffice  
17:00

 

2017.06.23 ( **fri** )

I miss you so much  
23:49

Missed call from: Yousef Acar

  
23:51

2017.06.24 ( **sat** )

  
Have a good time today!  
21:32

  
Thanks  
21:58

  
Wish you were here too  
❤️  
22:03

  
❤️❤️  
22:04

* * *

 

2017.06.24 ( **sat** )

**Sana** ❤️

Hey girl, did the party go well?

Awesome  


WOW❤️

  
I went here today  


  
One day I'll take you there too

* * *

 

_"I choose to adore you from a distance, for distance will shield me from pain"_

 

)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So something a little different. To keep up with the pattern going in this, The texts switch to Yousef's POV when the convo switches back to the one we saw in the last episode and the fourth promise is him promising to take Sana there one day (and pretty much everywhere he goes bc he wants to go there..... together..... cringe haha) 
> 
> This was a mission to upload. For the longest time while I typed this up I was trying to include emojis in the chapter before realizing that it wouldn't work and had to get rid of them. I definitely miss them a lot but tried my best to replace them with "hahaha"s and old school emoticons with colons and parentheses. The times underneath the texts were annoying af to incorporate but I think it was worth it bc they kind of hint at the hesitation or reaction towards each others responses (ex. the long break between Yousef sending Sana the soup recipe and her "i miss you" reply)
> 
> 90% of my writing is pretentious rambling so it was hard for me to switch gears and get this out. If anything is confusing I'd be happy to clarify.
> 
> P.S. the "Yousef you're stalking me" quote is from the Hei Briskeby video


	5. the last (?) promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope i haven't, but for some reason as i wrote this chapter i feel like it seems really familiar, like i've read it somewhere before. if you think this is similar to something you've seen in another fic, please let me know asap. it was not my intention at all and i will gladly modify as needed.

Eid **2004** (ages 5  & 7)

"Yousef, this is my sister Sana."

"Hi."

"Hey."

 

Eid **2013**  (ages 13 & 15)

"Hey Jamila, who's that guy Sana's talking to?"

"Yousef, wow! Good to see you too. I'm fine how are you?"

"Oh, uh- hey yeah, how are you?"

"Save it. That guy? Sana's been crushing on him for the longest time. Guess she finally got the courage to talk to him."

"Oh."

 

Eid **2023** (ages 23  & 25)

* * *

 

_Sana,_

_Eid Mubarak! Knowing you, you'll be studying for your exams even if it's your favourite holiday of the year, which is why I left this in your textbook last time you studied at my place._

_I'm sorry I'm not there to tell you this in person, but in a way I'm also relieved, because I can say everything I want without getting lost in your eyes, which I'm sure you're rolling at this point._

_You done? Good._

_When I asked you to marry me, it was something that just slipped out. Not in a bad way, never in a bad way! I just planned to deliver this huge, eloquent speech that Noora had helped me out with. Instead I blurted it out while we were eating pizza in my living room and there was sauce smeared across your cheek. Do you even realize how cute you are? Yes, I'm blaming you, but that's not the point._

_The point is, even though it's months late, I want to promise you a couple of things, things I've wanted to tell you probably as soon as I realized I liked you._

_I promise that I'll never let a day go by where I don't tell you you look beautiful, because you definitely do and definitely will. I won't hide what I'm feeling, whether you may like it or not. I promise to make up for the time I couldn't show you how much I loved you in the ways I've always wanted, not because it's lost time, but because sometimes I feel like my words couldn't possibly encompass the depth of the feelings I'm trying to get across, and finally I promise that unlike now, as long as you want me to be, I'll be with you, wherever you are._

_Surprised? Yeah same. Noora's a great writer, isn't she?_

_Hope that last bit made you laugh, because I'll be honest, as I write this, I'm a little teary eyed myself._

_Study hard, even though I wish you'd take a break once in awhile. Then again, you wouldn't have seen this if you knew how to relax._

_Love you,_

_Yousef_

* * *

 

Eid **2026** (ages 26  & 28)

"Tell me something."

Sana leaned into the murmur from her husband, his breath heady on her bare shoulder. The room was quiet, rays of sunlight peeking through the thin fabric curtains draping their hotel bedroom's large windows and faint sounds of chirping birds signifying the beginning of another hot Turkish summer day.

With Sana's career finally established reasonably enough so that she could take some time off, and Ramadan coinciding with summer holidays at the school where Yousef taught, spending Eid in Turkey alongside Yousef's extended family was an opportunity the couple couldn't afford to pass on, given its improbability in the future. Opting to arrive a few days prior to the actual holiday, Sana and Yousef spent the last week the month at Yousef's grandparents home located in the Turkish countryside.

Days were coloured with excerpts of Yousef's childhood, cheerfully recounted through his grandparent's narrations, much to the former's dismay, food preparation for Iftar with the aging couple's countless acquaintances that lived close by, led by Yousef and his grandmother, who was quick to delegate Sana in charge of relatively less involved recipes after her attempt at Hunkar Beğendi rendered them without a main dish the previous day, and leisure walks as the sun began to set and the warm evening breeze settled in, the conclusion of another fast just barely out of reach. Following taraweeh prayers at the local mosque, the couples would indulge in a round of warm tea, sipped on the rooftop amidst the backdrop of the night sky, littered with more stars than Sana could ever remember seeing back in the crowded suburbs of Oslo. Sana and Yousef would linger back, long after their grandparents retreated to their bedroom, soaking in the cool air and hum of the night's atmosphere, her head gently maneuvered to the center of his chest as she was lulled to sleep by the steady thrum of his heartbeat, awakened by her husband's gentle nudging when suhoor inevitably came around and the cycle repeated itself.

When Eid came, Sana quickly learned that Yousef's grandparents' home was the unofficial congregation point the remainder of the Acars flocked to for the annual event. Following the early morning prayer and a day full of celebrations with the rest of the family, the pair set out for the hotel Yousef booked for them in advance, allowing accessibility to all the major tourist sites he promised to take her to.

"Sana?" The question interrupted her thoughts, rousing her out of the dreamlike state that had overtaken her. Sighing, she released herself from Yousef's grasp, his protests quickly silenced after she laid back down, this time facing him.

"Hm?" she hummed quietly, lightly tracing his eyebrow with her thumb, fingers unconsciously straying to brush back the hair that fell on his forehead. When she motioned her hand back, Yousef reached out and held it in place, eventually lowering their joint hands so that they rested on top of the blanket covering them.

"Are you looking in my eyes now?" he asked grinning. Sana laughed, recalling the words from what Yousef had deemed their first date.

"I'm looking into your eyes now." she confirmed, using her free hand to gently pry away the crust that had accumulated in his left tear duct after a night of much needed sleep. He gazed at her in awe, a hint of disgust on his face that he couldn't manage to conceal regardless of how comfortable they felt around one another.

"Wow," Yousef whispered as Sana smirked at his speechlessness, "But, I was going to say something," his breath catching as she tilted up to kiss his cheek.

"What was I going to say?" he continued halfheartedly, wondering why he was still focused on his almost forgotten query when Sana was so close.

"You asked me to tell you something." she supplemented, her endearing gaze prompting Yousef to lift their intertwined hands so he could place a kiss upon hers, marvelling at the contrast between her soft, smooth skin against the calloused tan of his own.

"I can't believe I'm holding the hand of Oslo's next Cristina Yang."

One of their favourite past times, when Sana miraculously had a night off from the hospital, and Yousef was free from after school engagements for a typical teacher, was to mindlessly watch whatever TV show popped up on their Netflix recommended list. Usually the night would end with them both falling asleep on the couch due to sheer exhaustion, the TV continuing to drone on in the background as they eventually woke up a few hours later, legs wrapped in a tangle of limbs, finding one another even in their sleep. Since they started watching Grey's Anatomy however, both stayed wide awake, Sana constantly critiquing the unrealistic portrayal of a hospital workplace, and Yousef delighting in the enthusiasm she took in the aforementioned, missing the spark in her eyes that considerably dimmed following countless overnight shifts at work.

"Not Derek Shepard?" she said teasingly. It had been a topic of constant debate, Sana eventually winning out as Yousef grudgingly admitted Cristina was indeed the more gifted surgeon.

"Nope," he stroked her hair, touch feather light as he twirled a lock around his fingers, "Your hair isn't nice enough." Yousef dodged the incoming shove, cutting off Sana's retort with a soft kiss, leaning back to peck at her forehead before enveloping her in his arms once again.

"Tell me something." he repeats, this time the sound resounding as he mumbles it against the top of her head, "Do you remember the letter I gave you a couple of Eids ago? Before we got married?"

Sana, who held the words scrawled upon the scrap of paper dear to her heart, through their petty arguments and the days where the distance between them felt unbearable, who had memorized the phrases until they came to her as easily as the lyrics of her favourite songs and could recite them with the cadence of a prayer, chose to act clueless.

"Letter?" she questioned, trying to keep a straight face, "What letter? I think you might need to remind me." Yousef looked back shocked, attempting to compose himself. Unable to smother the smile surfacing on her face, Sana lets out a laugh, the sound sweet as honey as it played out in his ears.

"Okay." Yousef, taking advantage of her unawareness, flips them over so that he's staring down at her. Sana gasps, shrinking under his gaze tinted with hunger, but stares back with as much as she can reciprocate.

And then, then he reminds her.

He reminds her not in words, but with kisses that he places lovingly on the hollow of her neck and the sensitive spot under her ear, wanton whispers of her name uttered with such reverence that Sana finds it hard to breathe, strong arms curling around her body effortlessly as if they belonged there, no intention of straying from their current location,

And,

When he takes her to the Blue Mosque, as she soaks in the interior and looks up to the ceilings adorned with intricate designs, praying for her family, her friends, and finally Yousef, who waits for her outside, always present even if he's not really there.

He snaps a photo of her when she isn't looking, stopping to help a child who's shoelace had come undone as they waited for their mother to finish a conversation. The echo of a text, embodying one of the multiple promises he planned to keep, he had sent to her years ago comes to him as he gazes at the picture displayed on his phone' screen,  the architectural feat situated in the shadows of the surrounding scenery paling in comparison to the upward curve of her lips, playful and all consuming.

_"One day, I'll take you there too."_

(Yousef doesn't think there will ever be a last promise, because the finality behind a last promise implies that a time will come where he won't be able to fulfill them.)

He doesn't believe in God, but when he looks away from his phone at Sana, approaching with the smile she reserved for him and only him, he thinks maybe, just maybe he could.

It feels like a dream, when she grasps his hand like a reflex, when she tucks herself in his side as they wander the crowded streets of Istanbul together, that night, and every night after, Sana secure in his hold as they drifted to sleep. Except, it's not a dream.

It's something, Yousef imagines, a little like heaven, and for a moment,

He's a believer.

 

Eid **2021** (ages 21  & 23)

 **Yousef** **Acar**

The Office, season 5, episode 28, 19:01  
02:08

❤️  
02:36

* * *

 

_"I choose to hold you in my dreams, for in my dreams you have no end."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so  
> the promises were things Yousef kind of told himself throughout his relationship with Sana, all accumulating to eventually become a part of his proposal once he asked her to marry him.  
> writing about these two was incredibly cathartic. i honestly only write when i find something lacking and while i appreciate everything we were given on the show, i thought this couple lacked some closure. through this i was able to provide myself and hopefully some of you guys with that?  
> +the quote that yousef texted sana about at the very end (in case you don't have netflix) is michael talking about letting holly go instead of admitting his feelings for her. maybe it's not 100% applicable to Yousef and Sana but I love the message behind it.  
> "I think that we are one of those couples with a long story when people ask how we found each other. I will see her every now amd then, and maybe one year she'll be with somebody, and the next year I'll be with somebody, and it's going to take a long time, and then, it's perfect. I'm in no rush."  
> ++if you do leave a comment, I'd love to know how you came about this story! let me know if you can, just to satisfy my own curiosity haha


End file.
